The Onion has been on a roll lately in the presidential election cycle. My favorite recent article is this one on the Trump campaign pondering going negative. And if you don’t know what the Onion is, you are really missing out. The ‘article’ includes this gem:
We’ve tried to run a clean campaign that we can all take pride in, but if we’re truly serious about winning this thing, now might be the time to drop the nice guy act and get a little dirty,” said campaign chairman Paul Manafort, adding that the candidate should at the very least consider ramping up personal attacks on his opponents, even if the tactic feels slightly underhanded.
Then today, they released this article on ‘How Juries are Selected.’ Steps 3, 6, 8, and 9 are gold.
3. Mad scramble to cobble together series of legally viable excuses to eliminate minorities from jury pool.
6. Those lucky enough to naturally exude potential bias get to go home.
8. One last sweep for any hippies.
9. Excited jurors rush to courtroom only to discover it’s a goddamn department store slip-and-fall case.
Funny. And true.