Many lawyers love business travel. Get out of the house, get a break from the kids, have a few drinks, big meal at a chain restaurant, watch some TV. They can have it.

Until business travel doesn’t require staying in a hotel, you can have it. Why?

Hotels are filthy. F-i-l-t-h-y.

Hotels have bed bugs. Just ask Kyrie Irving.

Next time you are in a hotel, look where the vacuum cleaner doesn’t reach. For instance, look at the space between the night stand and the bed.

And look at the TV remote. Does it look clean? No it doesn’t. It looks like a filthy piece of plastic wiped down with a dirty rag. If you think about it, that last statement is going to apply to the entire room. Do yourself a favor and bring some sanitary wipes and wipe the remote off when you arrive.

How often do hotels wash bedspreads and pillows? I’m a glass is half empty kind of guy, so I say never.

Not to say all hotels are filthy. A Ritz Carlton room is usually clean, at least in the three times I could afford to stay at one.

Hotels are also noisy. The 10% of the guests who act like they are in a barn ruin it for everyone else.

Plus, it’s common for a hotel to give you a key to an already occupied room. Or to give someone else the key to your room. People have lost fingers in the door when this snafu happened. In Mississippi. More than once.

You also see a lot of weirdos and dumb-asses in hotels. I’m not sure if the hotel-idiots are always like that or just when they stay at a hotel. But don’t say anything to them or look at them crooked. They might beat the stew out of you. That’s also not unheard of in Mississippi.

Hotels are full of people acting stupid. After college, I worked for a summer as a front desk clerk for a lodge in Glacier National Park. My last day on the job, I wrote down every stupid thing that guests said to me. I thought I would have a few things on my list. It was four pages. It would have been shorter if I had written it down when people didn’t say something stupid.

Here’s a tip. If you like hotels, try not to pay attention when you are in them. If you do, you might not like what you see. And then you will be ruined on the path to hotel phobia.