I was stunned when this new Smart Asset study came out ranking Mississippi drivers as only the second worst in the country. The fact that Mississippi drivers are terrible is, obviously, unsurprising. But Florida’s are worse? I’m not buying it.

Either the study is flawed or–more likely–Mississippi drivers on vacation in Florida drag down Florida’s numbers. Where do Mississippians go on vacation? Florida. Do they become better drivers on vacation? Of course not. They get worse–as evidenced by how they react to new traffic controls like round-abouts (go the wrong way) and eight lane highways (move to the far left lane and slow down).

Typical Mississippi Driver

Typical Mississippi Driver

All summer long from Mobile to Orlando, Mississippi drivers are bringing their unique driving skills to Florida. So while Florida may be the location of the nations’ worst driving, I’m still putting my money on Mississippi drivers as being the worst.

Consider these questions:

  1. Where else can you see people miss an entire green light cycle because they were looking at their cell phone?
  2. Where else is it common for 2 cars to back up the interstate by driving side-by-side at the same (slow) speed?
  3. Where else do people drive all over the road trying to drive one handed while they talk on their cell phone?
  4. Because they are too lazy to figure out how to pair their blue tooth to their SUV?
  5. Where else are turn signals decorative lighting instead of an indication of a pending turn or lane switch?
  6. Where else do people driving far under the speed limit get offended when you pass them, start trying to race you, only to fall back because of their dog-chasing-a-squirrel like attention span?
  7. Where else do you want to pull people over and congratulate them for exhibiting merely competent driving skills?
  8. Where else do you (very) occasionally find yourself thinking: “that’s surprising, the guy in front of me isn’t driving like an idiot.”
  9. Where else do you take one look at many banged up cars and think: “they’re about to wander into the other lane and take someone out”?

Nowhere else. We’re number 1 for bad drivers. I rest my case.